The Funny Farm

This actually wasn't my first dove release conference. About this time last year I had headed to Slidell, LA for the annual meeting. And while I was a bit apprehensive, a few of the members picked me up at the airport and were so welcoming. As a newcomer this year, Doris' sister-in-law Eileen told her daughter how nice and friendly everyone was and she responded, "How could dove people not be nice?" It's true.

So it was great to see several familiar, friendly faces at the hotel breakfast. Dolly was the host this year, and her husband, Ritchie, picked us up in a van meant to transport old folks around. While none of us are in wheel chairs yet, we ambled into the van with our extra sweaters as it was chilly. Despite the high temperature predicted to be in the low 70s; Antelope Valley was windy, dry and dusty; and when it wasn't hitting 70 in the sun, it was more like low 50s.

From the dinosaurs that welcomed us at the entrance, to the alien in the shed, Dolly and Ritchie's farm was well-kept and loaded with stuff. Neat stuff. In the back, we could see horses and goats and sheep. Dolly and Ritchie offer a mobile petting zoo. And in addition to dove releases, they provide horse drawn carriage rides for weddings. There is even a mustang; Ford, that is, in one of the many trailers neatly placed on the property. Of course: Ritchie is also a race car driver!

Tables were set up for us to have our meeting outside. Doesn't this sound nicer than a hotel banquet room? After a three hour meeting discussing ways to help market our services for weddings and funerals, and how to be able to get more members together despite the distances between us, we broke for lunch ... and baby feeding. We had been hearing the cries of baby goats, pigs and sheep looking for their next meal.  Dolly brought out warm bottled milk and allowed us to assist in the feedings.

After lunch, there was a well-anticipated lesson from Doris in Vermont on how to tube feed a pigeon. (I thought I was video taping the whole thing to share only to discover that when I stopped the video, I was starting the video. How embarrassing.) You really have to experience it and several of us had a go at it on a somewhat patient pigeon patient to practice on. By the time I got to try it though, he'd had enough and threw up on me. It was good, though, to see how to potentially save a baby pigeon's life, if for one reason or another, the parents are not feeding the baby. Doris taught herself how to do this and was happy to share what she learned.

Next, a couple from the local pigeon racing club came to give a presentation and answer questions. Even though I have the benefit of being married to a pigeon racer (did I just write that?), it was very helpful to hear their thoughts and experiences, as everyone manages their loft and birds a little bit differently.

It was time to wind down with a hay ride by Ritchie and two gorgeous blond horses with bells on their heads, bickering as they carried us around the neighborhood of unpaved streets, Joshua trees, barking dogs, and fences.

No rest for the weary: after the hay ride, Ritchie begins to prepare the trailer hitch grill for steaks and Dolly is saving burning briquets to make peach cobbler in a dutch oven. A tall cowboy shows up who just happens to be an accomplished magician, and we will be treated to magic while we eat at beautifully set tables in the yard.

I took a break from it all and went to call Steve. As I was placing the call, I felt eyes on me. I turned to look, and a stranger was taking me in. I wasn't sure if I should run. But he wasn't moving very fast so I took a deep breath and got a little closer. Turns out he had just woken up and was in the mood to talk. He was so ugly that he was cute, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was Henry, a very charming 16 year old miniature pot-bellied pig.

It was a magical day but time to retreat to the hotel. After all, we are going to see Luther tomorrow, the owner of the largest dove release company in the US, if not the world.